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After the first child is born, mothers spend a major portion of their day in feeding, caressing, cleaning and clothing up the child. This is completely opposite to what happened before the child is born. The husband gets all the time and attention before the child comes in to their lives. Feeling emotionally cut off and rejected is normal with a husband who naturally wants to spend some time with you. With a job, it gets much more difficult to make time for your husband or even make time for love. Love is vital for any relationship.
Men need to understand that a when a woman becomes a mother, all her energy is channeled into becoming a good mother. The libido is bound to decrease with fluctuated hormones that no longer demand sex. Raising a child is exhausting by itself, there is no energy left for fulfilling the wifely duties. This is the time when most relationships deteriorate and the husband drifts off in random directions and away from the wife. Most men feel like they ruined their perfectly good marriage by having a baby. While this is a common feeling, it is not a positive one; many marriages are ruined because of this apparently self-centered, male feeling.
You can do little things that can help you maintain your relationship with your children. Things like watching television with your husband. Cuddling up together even if sex is not possible every night. Being connected throughout the day by mail and sms is important for partners who handle work and kids. Put your kids to sleep early so that both of you get some private time together. The most important thing is that you do not let you or your husband feel guilty about having the baby and realizing that a baby was a mistake. Try to make things the way they were before your child came along, even though it is not fully possible.
